Sunday, November 05, 2006

 

Dear Bishop Bohica

Dear Bishop Bohica,

What is the origin and history of the phrase "New World Order?" Also, will the sacrament be served in the death camps?

Sister June Everett
Salem 2nd Ward

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DEAR SISTER EVERETT,

Here is a faithful rendition and many fine quotes about the NEW WORLD ORDER.

Sacrament will be served, (secretly), however in place of bread and water, any solid and any liquid may be substituted, without changing the words of the prayer.

- Bishop Bohica
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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

 

"The Twelve have gone too far."

Bishop Bohica, novice bogger Brothers and Sisters, I come before you to state that the Church we all love has gone astray. Rather than leave it, we must instead excommunicate the Twelve. They have exercised unrighteous dominion in the ousting of our dear friend, Brother Steven E. Jones. This will not stand. We will blog and blog...until he is reinstated with full backpay, and will stop blogging only after the Twelve have confessed their cowardly and un-Christlike behaviour.

I would like to invite you to revisit the blog for daily updates, counsel and blessings.

As Bishop, it is my right and duty to look over the Church. I first decree that there is, from this moment on, a moratorium on all tithes and offerings. Do not give me or any other authorized member any funds, in any form. Those of you who have just paid, may retrieve your envelope from me after the meeting.

Should the Twelve come to their senses and confess before next week, I ask that you do your best to pay what you would have, had they not made such utter fools of themselves.

I implore you to work with me in this great and glorious work. I feel like a modern-day David against a titanic Gliath. One that has become bloated with pride and even now swaggers with no recognition of its rediculous appearance. The potted flowers and the distractions provided by the Tabernacle Choir simply cannot hide a mistake larger than buying forged papers from the sociopath, Brother Mark Hoffman.

We cannot do this work without the Lord's direction and help.

Please pray with me that the recent fascist nonsense coming out of Washington, DC and Salt Lake City will be divinely halted.

Thank you for your support.

I now turn the time over to you, to use as you see fit.
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12 Sick Apostles convert Professor Jones

12 Sick Apostles is a blog dedicated to revealing how members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are mislead by old men who are out of touch with life.

Brothers and Sisters, to starter, I'd like to let these former Saints take the time to bear their testimonies about "the only true church."

For, you seethe 12 sick Apostles have gone too far.

They have acted Republican one too many times.

The ouster of Physicist Steven E. Jones was their mistake that will prove to be the unraveling of the sacred fabric of many testimonies.

Why?

Because he was obeying the dictates of his conscience. He is my dear friend.

If they excommunicate him next, I will call for a revolt at BYU by those who know and respect him.

TO THE 12

Brethren, get on your knees. Get inspired, already! The church you ARE SUPPOSED TO LEAD IS IN FRONT OF YOU, SHOWING YOU THE WAY.

Shame on you hiding behind a colleague of Jones, instead of bringing your canes and showing your mugs.

Stop using polished teleprompters and get with the program! Speak from your heart.

This is 2007 knocking at your door. Many look up to you. Lead them!

Get inspired or get out of the way: You and YOUR church can't stand the light of day.

I will topple you one truth at a time.

Faithfully yours,

- Bishop Bohica
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